Intermediate
Declining Gracefully
Intermediate Level
Going deeper — techniques and nuances for experienced dancers
The art of saying 'no' to a dance invitation with warmth and respect — a skill as important as any step you'll learn.
Intermediate focus
Be thoughtful about your declines. If you consistently decline the same person, they'll notice. If you want to dance with them eventually, make it happen — seek them out later and ask them yourself. Also, if you see someone getting declined repeatedly, ask them to dance. Your invitation could save their night.
Tips
- •If you decline because you're resting, actually rest for that song. This is basic etiquette and it prevents hurt feelings.
- •A declined invitation isn't a rejected person. Separate the two in your mind and your reactions will naturally become gracious.
- •If you tend to decline out of anxiety rather than genuine reasons, challenge yourself to say yes more often. Some of your best dances will come from unexpected invitations.
Common mistakes
- •Declining someone and then immediately dancing with someone else to the same song
- •Over-explaining or making up elaborate excuses — a simple 'not right now' is enough
- •Taking a decline personally and showing visible frustration or hurt
Practice drill
Practice the phrase 'Thank you, I'm sitting this one out, but I'd love to dance later' until it feels natural. Then, at your next social, if you decline someone, make a point of finding them later and asking them yourself.